Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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