Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize