I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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