Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize