a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
