Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
