So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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