Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
