you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
