its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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