i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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