I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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