I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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