think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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