Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
