we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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