It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
