Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
