Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
