I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this hospital has no fireball
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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