She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
