2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
