Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
