I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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