I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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