so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
