he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
