He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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