You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
