i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
