I want to stick my p in your. b.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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