and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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