With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
