but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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