I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
