Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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