i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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