Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
