Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
