allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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