similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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