Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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