Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
