Please, let me fuck your mom
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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