Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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