Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
