the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
