so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
