i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
