My brain says no but my pants say off.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
