Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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