Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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