i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
