Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
