Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
