he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
