you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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