she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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