dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
